this quarter is so much better than the last. i've had time to think and breath even, what a luxury that is. i'm happy to be working towards something of importance but i also do not want to be one that takes life too seriously and works my life away without stopping at times and just... being. i'm in favor of stopping and just thinking, just being, breathing. even if its for a moment, that moment is important because it is where you are at, it does not abide in the past or future moments, it is your present and should be acknowledged.
when i wrote my letter for graduate school, i focused on my interest in being a lifelong learner. i still want this and am happy to say that teaching will indeed provide this... as my teacher friends can attest to i am sure! i aim to be a lifelong learner outside the classroom and textbooks as well though, i can learn from myself and those around me and i will learn best when i am quiet, still and introspective. i find myself taking up the quiet spaces often and creating noise, but when i turn it all off or at least down a bit, then i realize what is happening. i want to understand myself, my place, my responsibility. i want to appreciate it so much i cry. i don't want to apologize for coming into my own skin, being myself and being happy. i don't want to. i love these words that j found for me. i think it was his way of reminded me to feel comfortable in my own skin and be myself. last night we went on a date, it was the best. we sat, chatted, flirted, munched on deliciousness. on the way home, or there, can't remember, we were singing along to the radio and he stopped and asked me if i am still myself around him. i smiled and said yes, i am. its true. and he agreed.
