lufu, luba, luve.

i am experiencing a bit of a stall in my writing: what do you want me to write about????????

you know how people often say they have a hard time creating music when they are happy? well true. and also true for me for writing. it is difficult in this diary/blog format to find and mind a balance of information without getting repetitious. i find myself wanting to write about what i would like to eat right now, the emails i just exchanged with spu people about classes, what songs i am currently into... but is it of interest?
when i was traveling, current events filled up these pages with ease. current events these days are thrilling in their own way for sure but its difficult for me to find a way to present them. my mind is a blur with love, moving, school acceptance, classes coming up, puppy dreams, friends and phone calls. i am trying to be a good friend, wife, child, sister- stumbling at times but always tryiny, trying, trying. this takes up some time and constant observation--- am i....?

i have been thinking about "voice" lately--- what mine is, what i have to say, what i can say, why i am able due to place in society, position in time. i am now an adult but i don't often think of myself in this way. i am trying. i stand up straight when i remember, i try to take care of myself, i mostly take responsibility for my actions, i do a lot of adult-like things. my actions may resemble my age but when asked my age i flounder. often i have to think for a moment. 26! what a number! not that is old, i realize its not. but what an age that is! its certainly not early twenties; its been 10 years since i was 16 and driving in my sweet toyota tacoma. what different thoughts i had then! little me. little skinny thing.
eb and flow, eb and flow.
i'm sure and hopeful that i will change and morph but for the most part at this point in life i am who i am, i think how i think. i have opinions, lots of them. how interested. (not the opinions, just that i have so many of them).

i have the most wonderful husband. seriously. wrote me out a sweet card of congratulations and took me to dinner last night. had the restaurant bring us out champagne cocktails when we sat down before i even knew what was happening. time for celebration!! i think its wonderful to think of all of the things we will experience together in our lifetimes: so many things to celebrate, and some to morn. we will experience deaths and births, seasons and years of change. i love this. i love the simplicity that he will be with me through so much--- we will experience together what no one else will, what no one else will see or hear. so lovely.

so much to learn, so many moments to listen to.